Thursday, July 17, 2003
IT'S WHERE I GET ALL THE IMPORTANT NEWS
There is so much I want to write about, so much that I need to explain, yet I have no time. I'm always out in Hollywood, dealing with all the screwed up traffic that only gets worse when they shut down the whole street for two days, just so they can lay out a red carpet for that sham known as the ESPY Awards. Ooh, ooh --- rich athletes getting a nice pat on the back as the handpicked bleacher crowd (as well as those looking down from atop the Hollywood/Highland mall) roar their approval.
Well, at least sports has big name stars - as opposed to rock and roll.
In any case, while waiting for the Italians I picked up one of those sleazy newsstand throwaways, the L.A. X...Press, and opened to page 3 and was quite stunned. While every other page of the paper, which runs 28 pages, is full of personal and specialty ads (DO YOU LIKE TO WATCH? Beautiful couple together - exotic lady 36DD and young well-endowed guy), page 3 is dedicated to WORLD NEWS.
Think of it. You're some hopeless horndog that has no chance, none, to score with women, and you have no money, so you get one of these rags to either look at the pictures or venture a phone call, whatever, and as a bonus you get honest to god World News (as reported by Joey Alkes). This week's headlines:
ISLAMIC TERRORISTS KILL 16 AT MOSCOW ROCK FEST and
U.S. PUTS $25 MIL BOUNTY ON SADDAM
The hell with the NY Times, the hell with Yahoo - all the news I need is in the L.A. X . . . Press!
There is so much I want to write about, so much that I need to explain, yet I have no time. I'm always out in Hollywood, dealing with all the screwed up traffic that only gets worse when they shut down the whole street for two days, just so they can lay out a red carpet for that sham known as the ESPY Awards. Ooh, ooh --- rich athletes getting a nice pat on the back as the handpicked bleacher crowd (as well as those looking down from atop the Hollywood/Highland mall) roar their approval.
Well, at least sports has big name stars - as opposed to rock and roll.
In any case, while waiting for the Italians I picked up one of those sleazy newsstand throwaways, the L.A. X...Press, and opened to page 3 and was quite stunned. While every other page of the paper, which runs 28 pages, is full of personal and specialty ads (DO YOU LIKE TO WATCH? Beautiful couple together - exotic lady 36DD and young well-endowed guy), page 3 is dedicated to WORLD NEWS.
Think of it. You're some hopeless horndog that has no chance, none, to score with women, and you have no money, so you get one of these rags to either look at the pictures or venture a phone call, whatever, and as a bonus you get honest to god World News (as reported by Joey Alkes). This week's headlines:
ISLAMIC TERRORISTS KILL 16 AT MOSCOW ROCK FEST and
U.S. PUTS $25 MIL BOUNTY ON SADDAM
The hell with the NY Times, the hell with Yahoo - all the news I need is in the L.A. X . . . Press!
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