Wednesday, June 16, 2004
EVERYBODY GOT WHAT THEY WANTED
So now that the Lakers have been vanquished in the NBA finals, everybody has come crawling out of the woodwork proclaiming the Pistons victory as an additional victory of "teamwork over individualism" as it says here in today's New Republic.
First of all, I thought TNR was a political rag. What's the matter, not enough on the campaign trail to chew over? Secondly, the Lakers got beat, so what? So they have a crappy disappointing team? Good god people, this is the FINALS! What the Rockets, Spurs, Timberwolves, Mavericks, Pacers and Kings wouldn't give to have been there. So the Lakers ran out of gas, so what? They're still a great team. I don't know if they have the capability to bounce back. We'll see. That's the excitement of it all. You never quite know what the hell is going to happen.
You know, the NY Yankees haven't won a world championship since 2000 and they've been defeated in the World Series two times running, last year by the similarly unheralded Florida Marlins. But you don't hear anybody dismissing the Yankees chances this year, or any year for that matter.
And, really, considering that the Marlins, and the Anaheim Angels the year before, and the Tampa Bay Bucs the year before, and almost the Carolina Panthers this year, and almost the Mighty Ducks last year, should I go on?, have all been scrappy teams that have gone all the way or almost, is it really all that surprising the Pistons won? I mean, good for them! This year they are the champions. They deserved it. Scrappy teams do that, sometimes they make good, and it seems in all sports this has been happening with increasing regularity.
And, anyhow, for all the people who point to acquiring Malone and Payton as some kind of fiendish plot to keep the Lakers on top of the heap for eternity, it should be pointed out that if the Pistons hadn't stolen Rasheed Wallace from Portland at mid-season they wouldn't have been in this position in the first place. I don't hear anyone boo-hooing about the Pistons doing this.
So the Lakers came up a little short this year, so what? They'll be back, and they'll still be my team and I will still root for them and I bet you that next year will find them on top of the heap as usual, Laker haters notwithstanding. Yeesh, get a life.
So now that the Lakers have been vanquished in the NBA finals, everybody has come crawling out of the woodwork proclaiming the Pistons victory as an additional victory of "teamwork over individualism" as it says here in today's New Republic.
First of all, I thought TNR was a political rag. What's the matter, not enough on the campaign trail to chew over? Secondly, the Lakers got beat, so what? So they have a crappy disappointing team? Good god people, this is the FINALS! What the Rockets, Spurs, Timberwolves, Mavericks, Pacers and Kings wouldn't give to have been there. So the Lakers ran out of gas, so what? They're still a great team. I don't know if they have the capability to bounce back. We'll see. That's the excitement of it all. You never quite know what the hell is going to happen.
You know, the NY Yankees haven't won a world championship since 2000 and they've been defeated in the World Series two times running, last year by the similarly unheralded Florida Marlins. But you don't hear anybody dismissing the Yankees chances this year, or any year for that matter.
And, really, considering that the Marlins, and the Anaheim Angels the year before, and the Tampa Bay Bucs the year before, and almost the Carolina Panthers this year, and almost the Mighty Ducks last year, should I go on?, have all been scrappy teams that have gone all the way or almost, is it really all that surprising the Pistons won? I mean, good for them! This year they are the champions. They deserved it. Scrappy teams do that, sometimes they make good, and it seems in all sports this has been happening with increasing regularity.
And, anyhow, for all the people who point to acquiring Malone and Payton as some kind of fiendish plot to keep the Lakers on top of the heap for eternity, it should be pointed out that if the Pistons hadn't stolen Rasheed Wallace from Portland at mid-season they wouldn't have been in this position in the first place. I don't hear anyone boo-hooing about the Pistons doing this.
So the Lakers came up a little short this year, so what? They'll be back, and they'll still be my team and I will still root for them and I bet you that next year will find them on top of the heap as usual, Laker haters notwithstanding. Yeesh, get a life.
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
I'M BACK!
I been gone for a while. I was, uh, mowing the lawn. Yeah, that's the ticket!
Well, several months have passed and I'm still not a household name. I've been writing mostly incendiary band commentary for months now and I've boxed myself into a corner because I have nowhere to discuss my most personal thoughts.
For instance, it may be interesting for most people to know that I am, in fact, going completely out of my mind at present. It's true. I mean, I've always been pretty much nutso but in the last few months this somewhat comfortable madness has given way to an obsession almost unprecedented in my life. And I'm feeling pinched financially, which is saying something, because I've always been sorta broke. Now I feel like I'm one step away from being homeless broke and it's all because I refuse to give up the ghost on the whole art/music thing. It's made me incredibly lazy. I almost had a job last spring but that didn't happen.
Then things just started happening. Like my cat, Kitty, I had to take her to the vet so she could get all of her teeth pulled out. Poor thing, but she's doing way better now. Then the other day, as I was munching on a pretzel on the bus, I felt something hard inside my mouth and it turns out it was part of my own tooth, one of the back ones. It wasn't a filling or a crown or anything, just part of a tooth. I don't have a toothache and I can still eat all kinds of food, but you know that an expensive and mandatory visit to the dentist is waiting for me at the end of all this.
Guess I shouldn't have been eating on the bus.
Got my electricity shut off one day this month too, but we got it back on before the food spoiled.
What else can I whine about? Well, plenty, but I'll save it for next time!
I been gone for a while. I was, uh, mowing the lawn. Yeah, that's the ticket!
Well, several months have passed and I'm still not a household name. I've been writing mostly incendiary band commentary for months now and I've boxed myself into a corner because I have nowhere to discuss my most personal thoughts.
For instance, it may be interesting for most people to know that I am, in fact, going completely out of my mind at present. It's true. I mean, I've always been pretty much nutso but in the last few months this somewhat comfortable madness has given way to an obsession almost unprecedented in my life. And I'm feeling pinched financially, which is saying something, because I've always been sorta broke. Now I feel like I'm one step away from being homeless broke and it's all because I refuse to give up the ghost on the whole art/music thing. It's made me incredibly lazy. I almost had a job last spring but that didn't happen.
Then things just started happening. Like my cat, Kitty, I had to take her to the vet so she could get all of her teeth pulled out. Poor thing, but she's doing way better now. Then the other day, as I was munching on a pretzel on the bus, I felt something hard inside my mouth and it turns out it was part of my own tooth, one of the back ones. It wasn't a filling or a crown or anything, just part of a tooth. I don't have a toothache and I can still eat all kinds of food, but you know that an expensive and mandatory visit to the dentist is waiting for me at the end of all this.
Guess I shouldn't have been eating on the bus.
Got my electricity shut off one day this month too, but we got it back on before the food spoiled.
What else can I whine about? Well, plenty, but I'll save it for next time!
Monday, December 01, 2003
DUDE, WHERE'S MY BLOG?
Well, it was a great party for a while, and for the half dozen folks that I estimate dialed into this dishrag, I salute you and I will now reveal why I have seemingly dropped off the face of cyber-earth here ------ I BEEN BUSY!
To that extent (my favorite, along with "nominal", phrase to sneak into my writing) I will now direct you to the sites that I have been busy at, if you didn't already know, all of them band related:
The Official Desperation Squad Web Site
Panda Man Gig Report
Mr. P Email Archive
Pasadena Weekly
If you'll notice none of these links and blogs really provide space for what this blog tries to do - chronicle the twists and turns of my addled mind as I dash from one hot-button rant to another, although if you are dogged enough to find one of my PW pieces on the web site, kudos to you my friend! But, still, those are assignments, for which I am, gulp, paid for - sometimes.
But all this takes a lot of time, especially the D-Squad site, which I have high hopes for in the long run, just for the site's ultimate ability to showcase the band's long and colorful history. For instance, if you go to the flyer pages there are over 70 posted now, spreading across 25 years, and that only scratches the surface of what I have available to chronicle. There are over 200 more ready to scan, and that's just the art work. Ideally, a large percentage of the flyers will have stories attached to them so that you can click on say, the 1985 Spatz flyer, the show where we played with the Minutemen, and then read an account of how that show came about and what happened there (incredibly, an audio cassette still survives of that show!). That sort of thing.
So all of that is taking precedence over how I feel about the war in Iraq, and the supermarket strike, and the Lakers, et cetera. And, really, that's no great loss. Cyberspace is glutted with opinion-meisters such as myself, even though I feel that I, of course, offer a unique and vital perspective on all subjects. Even still, who really cares? What the blog has really done for me is allow me the chance to write on a regular basis, keep my chops up so to speak, until something else rolls around, and that something else has indeed arrived. Blogs are plentiful; virtual band histories are not. Talk is cheap; newspaper articles make you (a little) money.
So there you go. This blog will likely be cannibalized by the D-Squad web site, as my friend and mentor Mark Givens has provided me with a blog program that gets me out of the Blogger world - although, to be honest, other than some start up problems, Blogger is a wonderful tool for anybody wanting to do this sort of thing.
And so on and so on ---- or as I say in my emails -----
CHOW
Well, it was a great party for a while, and for the half dozen folks that I estimate dialed into this dishrag, I salute you and I will now reveal why I have seemingly dropped off the face of cyber-earth here ------ I BEEN BUSY!
To that extent (my favorite, along with "nominal", phrase to sneak into my writing) I will now direct you to the sites that I have been busy at, if you didn't already know, all of them band related:
The Official Desperation Squad Web Site
Panda Man Gig Report
Mr. P Email Archive
Pasadena Weekly
If you'll notice none of these links and blogs really provide space for what this blog tries to do - chronicle the twists and turns of my addled mind as I dash from one hot-button rant to another, although if you are dogged enough to find one of my PW pieces on the web site, kudos to you my friend! But, still, those are assignments, for which I am, gulp, paid for - sometimes.
But all this takes a lot of time, especially the D-Squad site, which I have high hopes for in the long run, just for the site's ultimate ability to showcase the band's long and colorful history. For instance, if you go to the flyer pages there are over 70 posted now, spreading across 25 years, and that only scratches the surface of what I have available to chronicle. There are over 200 more ready to scan, and that's just the art work. Ideally, a large percentage of the flyers will have stories attached to them so that you can click on say, the 1985 Spatz flyer, the show where we played with the Minutemen, and then read an account of how that show came about and what happened there (incredibly, an audio cassette still survives of that show!). That sort of thing.
So all of that is taking precedence over how I feel about the war in Iraq, and the supermarket strike, and the Lakers, et cetera. And, really, that's no great loss. Cyberspace is glutted with opinion-meisters such as myself, even though I feel that I, of course, offer a unique and vital perspective on all subjects. Even still, who really cares? What the blog has really done for me is allow me the chance to write on a regular basis, keep my chops up so to speak, until something else rolls around, and that something else has indeed arrived. Blogs are plentiful; virtual band histories are not. Talk is cheap; newspaper articles make you (a little) money.
So there you go. This blog will likely be cannibalized by the D-Squad web site, as my friend and mentor Mark Givens has provided me with a blog program that gets me out of the Blogger world - although, to be honest, other than some start up problems, Blogger is a wonderful tool for anybody wanting to do this sort of thing.
And so on and so on ---- or as I say in my emails -----
CHOW
Friday, October 31, 2003
TEAM COVERAGE
No picture sums up the media reaction to the wild fires any better than the huge front page photo in Wednesday's LA Times. From an aerial perspective you see a threatened neighborhood, presumably evacuated, with a wall of flames bearing down on it. The houses are still standing and you can see on the street two vehicles - one a fire truck and the other a Channel 9 news van.
A Channel 9 news van.
I wanted to break that out because maybe I'm the only one who noticed it, or was the only one bugged by it, or whatever. This is the day after the guy from Channel 4, veteran newsman Chuck Henry (is it me or has he somehow not aged in 30 years?), came deadly close to becoming another fire victim. Why? Because of the tremendous pressure for news agencies to provide extensive "team coverage" of breaking news stories, be they wars, riots, car chases, natural disasters or what have you (my favorite kind). This begs a question:
When the Armegeddon comes, will the local channels provide team coverage of it?
Now, I didn't just fall off the turnip truck, I understand why there is over-the-top nonstop coverage of events. What I don't understand is the media's knack for trying to become the event, to in effect provide coverage of its own role in it. Yes, it is necessary to show video of the fire, in all of its various locations. Yes, it is necessary to make the coverage wall-to-wall, even if factual information comes in at a trickle, say one or two verified facts every hour. Yes, I suppose it is even necessary to interview vicitms, or people who came close to being victims, because that is news, in its own way, although I'm not so sure we the viewers really need to see an 18 year old girl returning home to sift through the ashes of her lifelong home. I suppose they can always say "no, get the fuck away from me," but how often does that happen?
What is not necessary is for news vans and reporters to go up into evacuated areas, areas of great danger, and sit there and transmit what is essentially TV screen wallpaper of huge, scary leaping flames. It serves no purpose. I mean, I seriously doubt that there is someone in a fire area who is getting the necessary information to evacuate based on what they see on television. My guess is these are the last people who would be watching TV at this point. If they are, it says more for the stuipity of the viewer, more than anything else.
No, all the pictures do is make voyeurs out of those who are not in a fire area. "Oh my gosh! Look at that fire! I'm certainly glad we don't live in a fire area!" Yet the flames are just as visible from areas that are not directly threatened. Nobody, and I mean nobody, needs to see some poor soul's house engulfed in flames. That is not news, that is invasion of privacy, even when the homeowner is far far away. Especially if the homeowner is far far away.
Who gave Jeff Michaels of Fox News the okay to go tramping through the ashes of someone's home? Why do fire officials give the okay to let the news vans up that close? All they are doing is putting more lives in danger - like Chuck Henry. Just for a better look at the "story". And if, god forbid, one of those media members goes up in flames as well, who is at fault? And if, god forbid, someone from the media actually did become a victim, can you imagine the over-reaction and indignation ("that brave reporter") that would be heaped upon the already overloaded circuit of coverage. When the true answer is: You have stayed the hell out of there!
Here's a couple of more examples, and this is very random, as I only skim the news reports as I can't stand to watch them for more than a minute or two. But last night on Channel 2 they showed a live spot of a reporter, clearly shivering and wanting to get off the air (probably wanting to get the hell out of there), who was kept on the air as the anchors kept peppering her with questions. Now at first I interpreted the shivering as fear, because the reporter was telling about a close "Chuck Henry" type call. But apparently it was freezing ass cold where she was, Running Springs or wherever, and so it may have just been that, the cold. I suspect it was a little of both. And for what? So we can know that it's really dangerous up there and that people should get the hell out? From what I know, people had already gotten the hell out, a long time before. So why the hell are the news vans still up there? I can't imagine they are helping fight the fire.
Which brings us to our next example, a man being interviewed at a San Bernardino shelter who was a bit confused and bitter that no water dropping helicopters could be deployed to fight the fire, yet the area was flooded with TV helicopters. Well, it's a damn good question. If the conditions are such that no rescue operations can be employed, shouldn't every one else be grounded? What's more important here, getting control of a wild fire, or providing continuing up close coverage of the wild fire?
And if residents are not allowed to return home to prepare for evacuations (this happened in Claremont, if you just happened to out for a party that night and got back too late, you were shit out of luck), why the hell are news vans allowed in the same neighborhood? Just so some fat ass in a secure area can go, "Mabel, get a load of that!"
It's absolutely perverse. Here's something to chew on. The next time a disaster strikes, like a wild fire, make the news organizations follow the same rules as everyone else. The coverage might be drastically different, but the pertinent information will remain the same, since really all the available sources for this are emergency workers and residents. Amazingly enough the media will survive, even with these limitations.
But the good news is that Channel 9 has now finally stopped its 24/7 coverage of the fire, now we can only hope that they start reporting some of the other news, and sports for gods sake, that is not tied to the hip of a disaster.
No picture sums up the media reaction to the wild fires any better than the huge front page photo in Wednesday's LA Times. From an aerial perspective you see a threatened neighborhood, presumably evacuated, with a wall of flames bearing down on it. The houses are still standing and you can see on the street two vehicles - one a fire truck and the other a Channel 9 news van.
A Channel 9 news van.
I wanted to break that out because maybe I'm the only one who noticed it, or was the only one bugged by it, or whatever. This is the day after the guy from Channel 4, veteran newsman Chuck Henry (is it me or has he somehow not aged in 30 years?), came deadly close to becoming another fire victim. Why? Because of the tremendous pressure for news agencies to provide extensive "team coverage" of breaking news stories, be they wars, riots, car chases, natural disasters or what have you (my favorite kind). This begs a question:
When the Armegeddon comes, will the local channels provide team coverage of it?
Now, I didn't just fall off the turnip truck, I understand why there is over-the-top nonstop coverage of events. What I don't understand is the media's knack for trying to become the event, to in effect provide coverage of its own role in it. Yes, it is necessary to show video of the fire, in all of its various locations. Yes, it is necessary to make the coverage wall-to-wall, even if factual information comes in at a trickle, say one or two verified facts every hour. Yes, I suppose it is even necessary to interview vicitms, or people who came close to being victims, because that is news, in its own way, although I'm not so sure we the viewers really need to see an 18 year old girl returning home to sift through the ashes of her lifelong home. I suppose they can always say "no, get the fuck away from me," but how often does that happen?
What is not necessary is for news vans and reporters to go up into evacuated areas, areas of great danger, and sit there and transmit what is essentially TV screen wallpaper of huge, scary leaping flames. It serves no purpose. I mean, I seriously doubt that there is someone in a fire area who is getting the necessary information to evacuate based on what they see on television. My guess is these are the last people who would be watching TV at this point. If they are, it says more for the stuipity of the viewer, more than anything else.
No, all the pictures do is make voyeurs out of those who are not in a fire area. "Oh my gosh! Look at that fire! I'm certainly glad we don't live in a fire area!" Yet the flames are just as visible from areas that are not directly threatened. Nobody, and I mean nobody, needs to see some poor soul's house engulfed in flames. That is not news, that is invasion of privacy, even when the homeowner is far far away. Especially if the homeowner is far far away.
Who gave Jeff Michaels of Fox News the okay to go tramping through the ashes of someone's home? Why do fire officials give the okay to let the news vans up that close? All they are doing is putting more lives in danger - like Chuck Henry. Just for a better look at the "story". And if, god forbid, one of those media members goes up in flames as well, who is at fault? And if, god forbid, someone from the media actually did become a victim, can you imagine the over-reaction and indignation ("that brave reporter") that would be heaped upon the already overloaded circuit of coverage. When the true answer is: You have stayed the hell out of there!
Here's a couple of more examples, and this is very random, as I only skim the news reports as I can't stand to watch them for more than a minute or two. But last night on Channel 2 they showed a live spot of a reporter, clearly shivering and wanting to get off the air (probably wanting to get the hell out of there), who was kept on the air as the anchors kept peppering her with questions. Now at first I interpreted the shivering as fear, because the reporter was telling about a close "Chuck Henry" type call. But apparently it was freezing ass cold where she was, Running Springs or wherever, and so it may have just been that, the cold. I suspect it was a little of both. And for what? So we can know that it's really dangerous up there and that people should get the hell out? From what I know, people had already gotten the hell out, a long time before. So why the hell are the news vans still up there? I can't imagine they are helping fight the fire.
Which brings us to our next example, a man being interviewed at a San Bernardino shelter who was a bit confused and bitter that no water dropping helicopters could be deployed to fight the fire, yet the area was flooded with TV helicopters. Well, it's a damn good question. If the conditions are such that no rescue operations can be employed, shouldn't every one else be grounded? What's more important here, getting control of a wild fire, or providing continuing up close coverage of the wild fire?
And if residents are not allowed to return home to prepare for evacuations (this happened in Claremont, if you just happened to out for a party that night and got back too late, you were shit out of luck), why the hell are news vans allowed in the same neighborhood? Just so some fat ass in a secure area can go, "Mabel, get a load of that!"
It's absolutely perverse. Here's something to chew on. The next time a disaster strikes, like a wild fire, make the news organizations follow the same rules as everyone else. The coverage might be drastically different, but the pertinent information will remain the same, since really all the available sources for this are emergency workers and residents. Amazingly enough the media will survive, even with these limitations.
But the good news is that Channel 9 has now finally stopped its 24/7 coverage of the fire, now we can only hope that they start reporting some of the other news, and sports for gods sake, that is not tied to the hip of a disaster.
Tuesday, October 28, 2003
AT LONG LAST, A NEW POST
I've been away for a while and it's not that I've become so ashamed that I supported the losing side in the recall election, I've just been busy doing "other" stuff, mainly, at long last (I've been using that term alot lately), the official Desperation Squad web site. I'm very excited about it. With the help of old friend Mark Givens we got a huge site and a registered domain name and since then I have been almost exclusively devoted to putting up at least a nominally coherent site, and that simply takes lots of time. But there is so much good stuff on there even now, and we have only just started.
It's not like I've fallen off the face of the earth or anything. But with an ever-evolving web site, my continuing D-Squad email updates, a second blog - the Panda Man Gig Report, and ever increasing pay work at the Pasadena Weekly, I just haven't had the time to throw down any of my patented and ludicrous rants for posterity, so I will quickly run down some things that have been festering like an infected boil in my twisted mind.
The Firestorm
Most of my experience with the current out-of-control wildfires will be addressed in the Gig Report, mainly because our show in Pomona on Saturday was interconnected with it. And I haven't written it yet, but that will come soon. However, in the aftermath of the scary Claremont blaze, of which I just got word that at least one of my friends - good old Norm - lost his cabin in Palmer Canyon, I noticed some peculiar things. Mainly people still jogging on the streets of Claremont, despite the fact that ashes continue to swirl around us and that the air quality has to be worse than even the worst Stage 1 smog alert that could be thrust upon us. I mean, I will go running at the drop of a hat, it is something I am almost compelled to do, even in intense 100+ heat. But even I know enough to stay off the road for a few days. It drives me crazy but, then again, I'm not sitting in a Red Cross evacuation center awaiting the fate of my property either. I think I can maintain for a few days, until the fire is out and the air clears. Honestly, I can't imagine what these runners are thinking.
I can't imagine what a fucked-up (possibly serial) arsonist is thinking either, and believe me, the whole idea of "domestic terrorism" (and it's strange how I haven't heard that term used in describing this nightmare) gets racheted up a few notches in this instance. I'm not much on capital punishment but if they ever find this person or persons even burning them at the stake would not be good enough for them. When I heard what happened on Saturday in San Bernadino, when people woke up in the morning having no idea they had spent their last night sleeping in their own bed, it just made me absolutely sick. I realized that everything can go just like that - life, property, relationships - and what Warren Zevon said on the Letterman show, "Enjoy every sandwich," is just about as sage as advice can be.
Of course, there is plenty to be said about urban sprawl and the strategy of fire suppression and what exactly are we doing building homes so far up into the mountains and so forth. But for it all to go just because some fucking jack-ass has determined that weather and wind conditions are at an optimum level to wreak fiery destruction - well, that is just too much for me to comprehend. These are innocent people, good hard-working Americans, families with pets and my heart goes out to them and I sure wish I could do more than tap at a keyboard and perhaps later I can. But I stand humbled by the whole hideous affair, I really do, just absolutely scared to death of the whole thing.
The Other Firestorms: Shaq & Kobe
Of course, tonight is the Laker season opener, and who would have thought that the most irrelevant people in town would be those two big babies Shaq and Kobe. Wake up losers! Thousands of people have lost their homes and all of their possessions. No one gives a crap what your opinion of a team player is or if you can get a few extra million dollars for your collection. How about this? Why don't one of you donate an entire season's salary to the fire victims, huh? And then go out and play your game, which, believe me, very few people outside your cudgel care about.
And, anyways, what kind of bizarre world is this when Gary Payton, for crying out loud, becomes a voice of reason?
The Other Firestorms: Iraq
If the fires can do anything for us, maybe they can help us relate to a world of constant threat and danger, of living each day wondering if some rocket-propelled grenade or suicide bomber will take away your property and loved ones. Eventually, the fires in So Cal will be out and things will return to normal. In Iraq, at least within the Sunni triangle, things may never return to a state resembling normal.
Then the Rashid Hotel gets bombed, with Wolfowitz in it, and he comes out all shaken and proclaims the enemy is a bunch of "losers." Oh yeah?
Wolfy, let me tell you what a loser is. A loser is someone who roots against the home team at the old ballpark, a loser is someone who gambles away all of the family's food money, a loser is someone who gets voted off the "Survivor" island, a loser is someone making self-serving statements in the face of destrcution and strategy (see above). In fact, now that I read these qualifications back, it appears that you fit that last statement. You, Wolfy, are the loser, and all of your think tank buddies who thought it be as easy as picking oranges in the sunshine to take over Iraq for your own nation-building purposes.
What, you didn't think they were going to fight back? You didn't think they were going to try and protect their interests? Sure, maybe the "shock and awe" provided enough cover to send the ruling party and its supporters scrambling into the desert and make you think it was safe to send your corporate engineers over in hard hats to "rebuild". Sure, maybe a Gallup poll gives everyone the impression that Iraqi's are supportive of our intentions and that anything is better than a Hussein dictatorship. How the hell can any American really know what the hell is going on in a country thousands of miles away when they barely know what's going on on their own street? And you blame the media? Listen, just as you and Rummy and all the others smugly assured us that you knew everything and that we bozos know nothing about conducting foreign policy, why don't you admit you don't know squat about how the media works. I just now logged into Fox News and in their headlines bracket is not one "feel good" story about Iraq. Here are the headlines:
2 CIA contractors die in Afghanistan
Car bomb kills four in Fallujah
'Hollow Force' Fears for U.S. Military
President: Freedom still has enemies
This is not the "liberal" media here, it is Fox News, champion of you and the whole Bush administration, but yet an organization that clearly knows that if it does not report "conflict" it will dry up faster than a worm caught on a sunsoaked sidewalk. Media is about satisfying advertisers, period. It is not a government mouthpiece. Well, maybe in Hussein's Iraq it was, but you know, that's what we're fighting for, am I right? A "free" press. So don't think the media is going to ferret out the good news for you guys any time soon. That's for the schlubs at the White House PR office. In any case, if I was a journalist in Iraq I doubt I would stray too far from a safe area just to do the administration's propaganda bidding, not if I wanted all of my limbs anyway.
Wolfy, you are lucky to be alive, loser.
At Long Last, The Good News
And it's not just the Yankees losing the Series, although that was sweet, sweet, sweet. It's my long time friend and band member Jeff Hayes and his girlfriend Carol announcing the birth of a very healthy baby boy, Roman.
It doesn't get any better than that. But I would say that. I'm not on diaper duty!
I've been away for a while and it's not that I've become so ashamed that I supported the losing side in the recall election, I've just been busy doing "other" stuff, mainly, at long last (I've been using that term alot lately), the official Desperation Squad web site. I'm very excited about it. With the help of old friend Mark Givens we got a huge site and a registered domain name and since then I have been almost exclusively devoted to putting up at least a nominally coherent site, and that simply takes lots of time. But there is so much good stuff on there even now, and we have only just started.
It's not like I've fallen off the face of the earth or anything. But with an ever-evolving web site, my continuing D-Squad email updates, a second blog - the Panda Man Gig Report, and ever increasing pay work at the Pasadena Weekly, I just haven't had the time to throw down any of my patented and ludicrous rants for posterity, so I will quickly run down some things that have been festering like an infected boil in my twisted mind.
The Firestorm
Most of my experience with the current out-of-control wildfires will be addressed in the Gig Report, mainly because our show in Pomona on Saturday was interconnected with it. And I haven't written it yet, but that will come soon. However, in the aftermath of the scary Claremont blaze, of which I just got word that at least one of my friends - good old Norm - lost his cabin in Palmer Canyon, I noticed some peculiar things. Mainly people still jogging on the streets of Claremont, despite the fact that ashes continue to swirl around us and that the air quality has to be worse than even the worst Stage 1 smog alert that could be thrust upon us. I mean, I will go running at the drop of a hat, it is something I am almost compelled to do, even in intense 100+ heat. But even I know enough to stay off the road for a few days. It drives me crazy but, then again, I'm not sitting in a Red Cross evacuation center awaiting the fate of my property either. I think I can maintain for a few days, until the fire is out and the air clears. Honestly, I can't imagine what these runners are thinking.
I can't imagine what a fucked-up (possibly serial) arsonist is thinking either, and believe me, the whole idea of "domestic terrorism" (and it's strange how I haven't heard that term used in describing this nightmare) gets racheted up a few notches in this instance. I'm not much on capital punishment but if they ever find this person or persons even burning them at the stake would not be good enough for them. When I heard what happened on Saturday in San Bernadino, when people woke up in the morning having no idea they had spent their last night sleeping in their own bed, it just made me absolutely sick. I realized that everything can go just like that - life, property, relationships - and what Warren Zevon said on the Letterman show, "Enjoy every sandwich," is just about as sage as advice can be.
Of course, there is plenty to be said about urban sprawl and the strategy of fire suppression and what exactly are we doing building homes so far up into the mountains and so forth. But for it all to go just because some fucking jack-ass has determined that weather and wind conditions are at an optimum level to wreak fiery destruction - well, that is just too much for me to comprehend. These are innocent people, good hard-working Americans, families with pets and my heart goes out to them and I sure wish I could do more than tap at a keyboard and perhaps later I can. But I stand humbled by the whole hideous affair, I really do, just absolutely scared to death of the whole thing.
The Other Firestorms: Shaq & Kobe
Of course, tonight is the Laker season opener, and who would have thought that the most irrelevant people in town would be those two big babies Shaq and Kobe. Wake up losers! Thousands of people have lost their homes and all of their possessions. No one gives a crap what your opinion of a team player is or if you can get a few extra million dollars for your collection. How about this? Why don't one of you donate an entire season's salary to the fire victims, huh? And then go out and play your game, which, believe me, very few people outside your cudgel care about.
And, anyways, what kind of bizarre world is this when Gary Payton, for crying out loud, becomes a voice of reason?
The Other Firestorms: Iraq
If the fires can do anything for us, maybe they can help us relate to a world of constant threat and danger, of living each day wondering if some rocket-propelled grenade or suicide bomber will take away your property and loved ones. Eventually, the fires in So Cal will be out and things will return to normal. In Iraq, at least within the Sunni triangle, things may never return to a state resembling normal.
Then the Rashid Hotel gets bombed, with Wolfowitz in it, and he comes out all shaken and proclaims the enemy is a bunch of "losers." Oh yeah?
Wolfy, let me tell you what a loser is. A loser is someone who roots against the home team at the old ballpark, a loser is someone who gambles away all of the family's food money, a loser is someone who gets voted off the "Survivor" island, a loser is someone making self-serving statements in the face of destrcution and strategy (see above). In fact, now that I read these qualifications back, it appears that you fit that last statement. You, Wolfy, are the loser, and all of your think tank buddies who thought it be as easy as picking oranges in the sunshine to take over Iraq for your own nation-building purposes.
What, you didn't think they were going to fight back? You didn't think they were going to try and protect their interests? Sure, maybe the "shock and awe" provided enough cover to send the ruling party and its supporters scrambling into the desert and make you think it was safe to send your corporate engineers over in hard hats to "rebuild". Sure, maybe a Gallup poll gives everyone the impression that Iraqi's are supportive of our intentions and that anything is better than a Hussein dictatorship. How the hell can any American really know what the hell is going on in a country thousands of miles away when they barely know what's going on on their own street? And you blame the media? Listen, just as you and Rummy and all the others smugly assured us that you knew everything and that we bozos know nothing about conducting foreign policy, why don't you admit you don't know squat about how the media works. I just now logged into Fox News and in their headlines bracket is not one "feel good" story about Iraq. Here are the headlines:
2 CIA contractors die in Afghanistan
Car bomb kills four in Fallujah
'Hollow Force' Fears for U.S. Military
President: Freedom still has enemies
This is not the "liberal" media here, it is Fox News, champion of you and the whole Bush administration, but yet an organization that clearly knows that if it does not report "conflict" it will dry up faster than a worm caught on a sunsoaked sidewalk. Media is about satisfying advertisers, period. It is not a government mouthpiece. Well, maybe in Hussein's Iraq it was, but you know, that's what we're fighting for, am I right? A "free" press. So don't think the media is going to ferret out the good news for you guys any time soon. That's for the schlubs at the White House PR office. In any case, if I was a journalist in Iraq I doubt I would stray too far from a safe area just to do the administration's propaganda bidding, not if I wanted all of my limbs anyway.
Wolfy, you are lucky to be alive, loser.
At Long Last, The Good News
And it's not just the Yankees losing the Series, although that was sweet, sweet, sweet. It's my long time friend and band member Jeff Hayes and his girlfriend Carol announcing the birth of a very healthy baby boy, Roman.
It doesn't get any better than that. But I would say that. I'm not on diaper duty!
AT LONG LAST, THE TEASE-O-RAMA REVIEW
Here it is:
It's the big moment at Junior's bachelor party. The entertainment has arrived and the rumpus room, packed to the gills with testosterone-engorged alpha males, is eagerly awaiting a hired slut with store-bought boobs that they can throw their hard-earned money at, just so she will allow them to touch her "there" and perhaps, later in private and for a good deal more dough, she will touch them back in a more intimate fashion. The tension is so thick you couldn't dent it with a Cutco knife.
The door opens and amid a rush of sweltering anticipation a lone woman enters, the indomitable Satan's Angel, her body replete with custom-designed body-enhancing regalia shielded by two gargantuan fans made of faux avian feathers. When the music starts and Satan's Angel starts to strut her considerable stuff, there are loud and untenable gasps from the mob, not because of what she's doing, but because of who she is: a sixty-plus matron well past her prime, with huge rolls of fat rippling like a rock skipping across a pond. She knows what she's doing but no one can bear to watch - this isn't quite what they had prepared for - and even if she had the desire to comply with their carnal wishes, which she assuredly does not, they would likely run out of the room with their hands over their mouths trying not to vomit. That's one bodily fluid they hadn't counted on.
Burlesque is art. It has all the trappings of immorality but that is just a mirage, a selling point to lure you in. Burlesque "back in the day" was quite racy and hush-hush but that day was close to one hundred years ago. Nowadays you can see more body parts on network television than a canny burlesque dancer will show you in her routine. Then there's that corny music and wasn't that a guy running around in a G-string, getting his ass smacked? Horrible, simply horrible, a disgrace to anyone who has ever rented pink eye porno at Mondo Video.
To experience burlesque today requires that you have to forget everything that modern extreme society has taught you. You have to convince yourself that a woman's body and what she does with it does not necessarily lead to an orgy of unmitigated salaciousness. You have to put on hold images of tummy-tucked and air-brushed swimsuit models as the only template allowed for women who want to express themselves. You have to develop an affinity for culture, for nuance, for subtlety - sort of.
If this sounds like a bit much to put on someone's plate, perhaps that is the point. Burlesque, as presented at the 3rd Annual Tease-o-rama, is as much quaint and old-fashioned as it is raucous and incendiary. Burlesque, to be successful, has to stay true to its vaudeville roots, which means that many notions that we have become accustomed to, like bachelor parties where the talent blurs the boundaries between entertainment and prostitution, are strictly verboten. You are free to get aroused at the performance, in fact it's happily encouraged, just realize that it is something you'll have to take home with you.
Tease-o-rama can be accurately described as the World Cup(s) of burlesque, with dozens upon dozens of acts both large and small - literally - sharing their talents with an audience eager for cockeyed camp, coruscating costuming, delightful dancing, perky pasties and sensational strip-tease. If you are in on the joke Tease-o-rama is as good as it gets. How many shows can keep a crowd at bay for four hours plus and not resort to Penthouse magazine shenanigans? Answer: not many, except when the acts are as diverse and brilliant as Tease-o-rama's.
The performances were too numerous to mention but I'll throw out a sample: The Fat Bottom Revue, with it's stable of plus-size honeys; The Wau Wau Sisters, who smoke cigarettes and guzzle beer while contorting themselves on a trapeze; Burlesque As It Was, who boast a Charlie McCarthy puppet and a one-armed one-legged wheelchair-bound dancer; Satanica Szandor, who dives head first into a bed of crushed glass while a man plays an accordion and trumpet at the same time; Lavender Cabaret, whose gracefulness and beauty was a stark but welcome contrast to the carnival atmosphere; the Baggy Pants Comics, whose stale routines masked their on-the-spot ability to cover for a delinquent act with an unwanted juggler; Kitten on the Keys, who adroitly managed to endure the marathon program with panache and verve, including a demure version of "Anarchy in the U.K."; Dita Von Teese, Marilyn Manson's squeeze, easily the Cecil B DeMille of burlesque, complete with candles and bubble bath.
But it was the star performance by Satan's Angel, the former Bob Hope USO bathing beauty, who came out of twenty-year retirement and shrugged off any notion of shame, who waltzed in and shook everyone to the rafters, and prompted a standing ovation from the swells of other performers who could only hope to achieve her iconic status. It was a love-fest, is what it was. That Satan's Angel looked a bit ragged around the edges made it all the more satisfying as she showed she still has all the moves left in her bag of tricks, and then some. Where some of the women performed with a bit of hesitation, Satan's Angel laughed in defiance, perhaps recalling a day when combat-weary GI's took to her flaming tassels and roared. And she's still got it.
Still, you have to wonder if anyone besides a few hundred in-the-know hipsters and genre aspirants can appreciate what's being done here. The bachelor party/Deja Vu strip club crowd would assuredly be demanding a refund, they having no concern for art and such. And that in itself is a shame, because when it is all given away, and not nearly for free, there is an unfortunate breakdown in our priorities. We should be encouraging this, even if the modern tide of extreme everything keeps it from storming to the front of the line.
Thankfully, Tease-o-rama III was enough of a success to assure another year of growth and new talent. Will America grow with it?
Here it is:
It's the big moment at Junior's bachelor party. The entertainment has arrived and the rumpus room, packed to the gills with testosterone-engorged alpha males, is eagerly awaiting a hired slut with store-bought boobs that they can throw their hard-earned money at, just so she will allow them to touch her "there" and perhaps, later in private and for a good deal more dough, she will touch them back in a more intimate fashion. The tension is so thick you couldn't dent it with a Cutco knife.
The door opens and amid a rush of sweltering anticipation a lone woman enters, the indomitable Satan's Angel, her body replete with custom-designed body-enhancing regalia shielded by two gargantuan fans made of faux avian feathers. When the music starts and Satan's Angel starts to strut her considerable stuff, there are loud and untenable gasps from the mob, not because of what she's doing, but because of who she is: a sixty-plus matron well past her prime, with huge rolls of fat rippling like a rock skipping across a pond. She knows what she's doing but no one can bear to watch - this isn't quite what they had prepared for - and even if she had the desire to comply with their carnal wishes, which she assuredly does not, they would likely run out of the room with their hands over their mouths trying not to vomit. That's one bodily fluid they hadn't counted on.
Burlesque is art. It has all the trappings of immorality but that is just a mirage, a selling point to lure you in. Burlesque "back in the day" was quite racy and hush-hush but that day was close to one hundred years ago. Nowadays you can see more body parts on network television than a canny burlesque dancer will show you in her routine. Then there's that corny music and wasn't that a guy running around in a G-string, getting his ass smacked? Horrible, simply horrible, a disgrace to anyone who has ever rented pink eye porno at Mondo Video.
To experience burlesque today requires that you have to forget everything that modern extreme society has taught you. You have to convince yourself that a woman's body and what she does with it does not necessarily lead to an orgy of unmitigated salaciousness. You have to put on hold images of tummy-tucked and air-brushed swimsuit models as the only template allowed for women who want to express themselves. You have to develop an affinity for culture, for nuance, for subtlety - sort of.
If this sounds like a bit much to put on someone's plate, perhaps that is the point. Burlesque, as presented at the 3rd Annual Tease-o-rama, is as much quaint and old-fashioned as it is raucous and incendiary. Burlesque, to be successful, has to stay true to its vaudeville roots, which means that many notions that we have become accustomed to, like bachelor parties where the talent blurs the boundaries between entertainment and prostitution, are strictly verboten. You are free to get aroused at the performance, in fact it's happily encouraged, just realize that it is something you'll have to take home with you.
Tease-o-rama can be accurately described as the World Cup(s) of burlesque, with dozens upon dozens of acts both large and small - literally - sharing their talents with an audience eager for cockeyed camp, coruscating costuming, delightful dancing, perky pasties and sensational strip-tease. If you are in on the joke Tease-o-rama is as good as it gets. How many shows can keep a crowd at bay for four hours plus and not resort to Penthouse magazine shenanigans? Answer: not many, except when the acts are as diverse and brilliant as Tease-o-rama's.
The performances were too numerous to mention but I'll throw out a sample: The Fat Bottom Revue, with it's stable of plus-size honeys; The Wau Wau Sisters, who smoke cigarettes and guzzle beer while contorting themselves on a trapeze; Burlesque As It Was, who boast a Charlie McCarthy puppet and a one-armed one-legged wheelchair-bound dancer; Satanica Szandor, who dives head first into a bed of crushed glass while a man plays an accordion and trumpet at the same time; Lavender Cabaret, whose gracefulness and beauty was a stark but welcome contrast to the carnival atmosphere; the Baggy Pants Comics, whose stale routines masked their on-the-spot ability to cover for a delinquent act with an unwanted juggler; Kitten on the Keys, who adroitly managed to endure the marathon program with panache and verve, including a demure version of "Anarchy in the U.K."; Dita Von Teese, Marilyn Manson's squeeze, easily the Cecil B DeMille of burlesque, complete with candles and bubble bath.
But it was the star performance by Satan's Angel, the former Bob Hope USO bathing beauty, who came out of twenty-year retirement and shrugged off any notion of shame, who waltzed in and shook everyone to the rafters, and prompted a standing ovation from the swells of other performers who could only hope to achieve her iconic status. It was a love-fest, is what it was. That Satan's Angel looked a bit ragged around the edges made it all the more satisfying as she showed she still has all the moves left in her bag of tricks, and then some. Where some of the women performed with a bit of hesitation, Satan's Angel laughed in defiance, perhaps recalling a day when combat-weary GI's took to her flaming tassels and roared. And she's still got it.
Still, you have to wonder if anyone besides a few hundred in-the-know hipsters and genre aspirants can appreciate what's being done here. The bachelor party/Deja Vu strip club crowd would assuredly be demanding a refund, they having no concern for art and such. And that in itself is a shame, because when it is all given away, and not nearly for free, there is an unfortunate breakdown in our priorities. We should be encouraging this, even if the modern tide of extreme everything keeps it from storming to the front of the line.
Thankfully, Tease-o-rama III was enough of a success to assure another year of growth and new talent. Will America grow with it?
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
OH, THAT LEGACY OF LOSING
See, this is why baseball has it all over any other sport, for this very reason. It's the absolute pain and agony of going game after game, year after year, getting all pumped up on some kind of uber-meth high because your team is going to win it all, and then crashing down hard when it doesn't, usually blamed on some blasted curse, but in reality it's just baseball, or as Dick Enberg said several years back,
"Baseball has a way of finding you."
He said it after the Angel collapse of 1995 which is still on the books as the greatest regular season collapse of all time, in terms of games ahead (I still have to think the 1964 Phillies was easily as bad), and what Enberg meant was that no matter how far in front you get, if you have a weakness the game will find it and it will get you in the end. And we've just seen it again. Three days ago it looked like the Cubs were a lock for their first pennant in 58 years, and in case someone has been living with Osama in a cave somewhere, we all know what has happened, they have lost and done it in the worst way, coming within one game and five outs of the title, only to see it all snatched away from them and all in the time it took to say "There's a fly ball to the left field line, Alou may have a play."
Poor, poor Cub fans.
Of course, I would say that, as an Angels fan, since our Curse was beaten back and bloodied into submission last year when the Halos went all the way. There was a difference of course. No one ever seriously considered the Angels a threat to take it all last year, despite having much the same miserable existence as the Cubs. Really, the Cubs played well only one month of the season, the last, and surged past a weak field in their division and that got them into the Best of Five Round, where underdogs can and do win quite often because, as the Cubbies found out to their dismay, winning four games is much tougher than winning three.
Really the first round should be Best of Seven, but that would push the Series into the Thanksgiving season so it will never happen.
And to the extent that the poor sap who snatched the ball away from Alou in Game 6 will forever be villified as the living embodiment of the Goat Curse, it will be a long time before someone has the courage to stand up and say
A) Florida was the better team, and
B) We did come from 95 losses one year ago to one win away from the title this year.
That's the important point, the fact that the Cubs even had a shot, considering how god-awful they were a year ago, with roughly the same team. But that's what makes baseball so wack. If the Cubs had lost 90 games this year, no one would be boo-hooing about a lost opportunity. If they somehow faded in the last week, the Curse may have been called into question, but I have to think a more optimistic view would have prevailed. If they had lost to the Braves in the first round, it would have hurt because, of course, once you qualify for the post-season you have no choice but to go all the way, otherwise you are cursed, or something. Doing it this way, with a woeful Leon Durham twist to it, twists the whole thing clear out of perspective. You were there, you didn't get it, there's always next year. Good job anyway.
And besides, if you just look at the qualifiers for this year in the post-season you see that almost every team had some nominal legacy of losing - longtime or fairly recent - to shake off, a huge city of fans that year after year go, "Jesus Christ, I can't believe we blew it again!" Here's a rundown:
Chicago Cubs - Now at 59 years without an N.L. Pennant, and 96 without a World Series title.
Boston Red Sox - 85 years without a World Series title, the Curse of the Bambino and the ugly specter of Bill Buckner. Note that even if Boston can beat the Yankees tomorrow, their curse is only lifted if they go all the way. Winning the A.L. pennant means nothing.
San Francisco Giants - Standing at exactly 50 years since last World Series title, won while they were still New York Giants, meaning San Francisco is zero-for-forty-five. Don't think it's a big deal? You've never met my brother.
Oakland A's - World Series would be heaven - lost four straight years in the first round, and have lost nine straight title-clinching games.
Atlanta Braves - Won World Series in 1995 but never in a year when they've won 100 games, which they have done six years out of the last eleven.
Minnesota Twins - It's not baseball games they're worried about losing, but their entire franchise.
New York Yankees - Last pennant, 2001; last World Series title, 2000. That's a drought for George Steinbrenner, and if you can't get too worked up about it, well me neither but if the Yanks lose to their bitter rivals tomorrow you better believe heads will roll (hear that, Giambi?)
So that's seven out of the eight teams. For Cub, Red Sox and Giant fans, that's a lot of bad history, and it seems to only get worse if they make it to the post-season. And it's bad for the other teams but, to be fair, they've all got WS titles within fairly recent memories. That doesn't make it any easier if you lose though.
And the only team that has no legacy of losing, at least in the post-season? That's our heart-breaking sweeties, the Florida Marlins. And once again, this is baseball at its ironic finest. Florida has had one winning season in ten years, and it won the World Series. This is their second winning season - ever - and they're back in the World Series. To this point, they've never lost a post-season series.
It's sick isn't it? The Marlins are a team that probably doesn't have fans, you know what I mean? Who the hell would root for the Marlins? You never see anybody with a Marlins cap on, or wearing a Marlins jersey. Hell, almost nobody can name a current Marlins player, let alone their all-time leader in home runs (Gary Sheffield). There are no long suffering Marlin fans because there are hardly any Marlins fans to begin with. Yet, when they get to the Big Show, they play Big Time, where the other teams just stumble again and again and again.
So what this means is that even if the Red Sox do win they are still doomed. The Marlins have taken out the Giants and the Cubs so far, why not the Red Sox to make it a complete sweep of cursed teams?
See, this is why baseball has it all over any other sport, for this very reason. It's the absolute pain and agony of going game after game, year after year, getting all pumped up on some kind of uber-meth high because your team is going to win it all, and then crashing down hard when it doesn't, usually blamed on some blasted curse, but in reality it's just baseball, or as Dick Enberg said several years back,
"Baseball has a way of finding you."
He said it after the Angel collapse of 1995 which is still on the books as the greatest regular season collapse of all time, in terms of games ahead (I still have to think the 1964 Phillies was easily as bad), and what Enberg meant was that no matter how far in front you get, if you have a weakness the game will find it and it will get you in the end. And we've just seen it again. Three days ago it looked like the Cubs were a lock for their first pennant in 58 years, and in case someone has been living with Osama in a cave somewhere, we all know what has happened, they have lost and done it in the worst way, coming within one game and five outs of the title, only to see it all snatched away from them and all in the time it took to say "There's a fly ball to the left field line, Alou may have a play."
Poor, poor Cub fans.
Of course, I would say that, as an Angels fan, since our Curse was beaten back and bloodied into submission last year when the Halos went all the way. There was a difference of course. No one ever seriously considered the Angels a threat to take it all last year, despite having much the same miserable existence as the Cubs. Really, the Cubs played well only one month of the season, the last, and surged past a weak field in their division and that got them into the Best of Five Round, where underdogs can and do win quite often because, as the Cubbies found out to their dismay, winning four games is much tougher than winning three.
Really the first round should be Best of Seven, but that would push the Series into the Thanksgiving season so it will never happen.
And to the extent that the poor sap who snatched the ball away from Alou in Game 6 will forever be villified as the living embodiment of the Goat Curse, it will be a long time before someone has the courage to stand up and say
A) Florida was the better team, and
B) We did come from 95 losses one year ago to one win away from the title this year.
That's the important point, the fact that the Cubs even had a shot, considering how god-awful they were a year ago, with roughly the same team. But that's what makes baseball so wack. If the Cubs had lost 90 games this year, no one would be boo-hooing about a lost opportunity. If they somehow faded in the last week, the Curse may have been called into question, but I have to think a more optimistic view would have prevailed. If they had lost to the Braves in the first round, it would have hurt because, of course, once you qualify for the post-season you have no choice but to go all the way, otherwise you are cursed, or something. Doing it this way, with a woeful Leon Durham twist to it, twists the whole thing clear out of perspective. You were there, you didn't get it, there's always next year. Good job anyway.
And besides, if you just look at the qualifiers for this year in the post-season you see that almost every team had some nominal legacy of losing - longtime or fairly recent - to shake off, a huge city of fans that year after year go, "Jesus Christ, I can't believe we blew it again!" Here's a rundown:
Chicago Cubs - Now at 59 years without an N.L. Pennant, and 96 without a World Series title.
Boston Red Sox - 85 years without a World Series title, the Curse of the Bambino and the ugly specter of Bill Buckner. Note that even if Boston can beat the Yankees tomorrow, their curse is only lifted if they go all the way. Winning the A.L. pennant means nothing.
San Francisco Giants - Standing at exactly 50 years since last World Series title, won while they were still New York Giants, meaning San Francisco is zero-for-forty-five. Don't think it's a big deal? You've never met my brother.
Oakland A's - World Series would be heaven - lost four straight years in the first round, and have lost nine straight title-clinching games.
Atlanta Braves - Won World Series in 1995 but never in a year when they've won 100 games, which they have done six years out of the last eleven.
Minnesota Twins - It's not baseball games they're worried about losing, but their entire franchise.
New York Yankees - Last pennant, 2001; last World Series title, 2000. That's a drought for George Steinbrenner, and if you can't get too worked up about it, well me neither but if the Yanks lose to their bitter rivals tomorrow you better believe heads will roll (hear that, Giambi?)
So that's seven out of the eight teams. For Cub, Red Sox and Giant fans, that's a lot of bad history, and it seems to only get worse if they make it to the post-season. And it's bad for the other teams but, to be fair, they've all got WS titles within fairly recent memories. That doesn't make it any easier if you lose though.
And the only team that has no legacy of losing, at least in the post-season? That's our heart-breaking sweeties, the Florida Marlins. And once again, this is baseball at its ironic finest. Florida has had one winning season in ten years, and it won the World Series. This is their second winning season - ever - and they're back in the World Series. To this point, they've never lost a post-season series.
It's sick isn't it? The Marlins are a team that probably doesn't have fans, you know what I mean? Who the hell would root for the Marlins? You never see anybody with a Marlins cap on, or wearing a Marlins jersey. Hell, almost nobody can name a current Marlins player, let alone their all-time leader in home runs (Gary Sheffield). There are no long suffering Marlin fans because there are hardly any Marlins fans to begin with. Yet, when they get to the Big Show, they play Big Time, where the other teams just stumble again and again and again.
So what this means is that even if the Red Sox do win they are still doomed. The Marlins have taken out the Giants and the Cubs so far, why not the Red Sox to make it a complete sweep of cursed teams?
Monday, October 13, 2003
MY OPINION IS MEANINGLESS
Not! Well, that's what I thought at first as I watched tonight's playoff game between the Red Sox and the Yankees on Fox. Suddenly they showed the results of one of those on-line polls that they do. This one was:
Who do you blame for the brawl?
The choices were:
Pedro Martinez
Don Zimmer
Manny Ramirez
Roger Clemons
Karim Garcia was not even listed as a choice, as Fox Sports had apparently absolved him of all blame in the matter, going so far as to make Clemons a more palatable suspect. The funny part is that Clemons got 13% of the vote, same as McClintock! Well, anyway, you can imagine how I felt about this, after my particular ramble and all. It durn near made me want to write a letter to the editor - or something!
So then I'm scouring the web, trying to find the actual photo of Zimmer going down, if nothing else, when I stumbled across this piece, by Michael Urban of MLB.com. who took the contrarian side of the argument. Urban states that Garcia "took unnecessary offense" of the pitch which started "A chain of events that followed one overreaction got Zimmer so fired up that he sought out and took a swing at Pedro." and then later "he jumped from right field into the bullpen late in the game to join another little dust-up. "
Kind of exactly what I said, only I added that Garcia was little more than a zit on the ass of baseball, or words to that effect. Urban didn't go quite as far, although it may be because he had a word count limit.
In any case, I found another online poll, this one at the MLB site, and Garcia is in it (it's at the bottom of the page of the Urban article) and I'm happy to say that he's a rock solid second place with 21% behind Pedro. Looking for a good laugh and an online message boards incisive commentary, I looked for someone with just as an inflammatory opinion as mine, with no luck. Rats.
But, man, for a second there I thought my completely random life was totally irrelevant.
Not! Well, that's what I thought at first as I watched tonight's playoff game between the Red Sox and the Yankees on Fox. Suddenly they showed the results of one of those on-line polls that they do. This one was:
Who do you blame for the brawl?
The choices were:
Pedro Martinez
Don Zimmer
Manny Ramirez
Roger Clemons
Karim Garcia was not even listed as a choice, as Fox Sports had apparently absolved him of all blame in the matter, going so far as to make Clemons a more palatable suspect. The funny part is that Clemons got 13% of the vote, same as McClintock! Well, anyway, you can imagine how I felt about this, after my particular ramble and all. It durn near made me want to write a letter to the editor - or something!
So then I'm scouring the web, trying to find the actual photo of Zimmer going down, if nothing else, when I stumbled across this piece, by Michael Urban of MLB.com. who took the contrarian side of the argument. Urban states that Garcia "took unnecessary offense" of the pitch which started "A chain of events that followed one overreaction got Zimmer so fired up that he sought out and took a swing at Pedro." and then later "he jumped from right field into the bullpen late in the game to join another little dust-up. "
Kind of exactly what I said, only I added that Garcia was little more than a zit on the ass of baseball, or words to that effect. Urban didn't go quite as far, although it may be because he had a word count limit.
In any case, I found another online poll, this one at the MLB site, and Garcia is in it (it's at the bottom of the page of the Urban article) and I'm happy to say that he's a rock solid second place with 21% behind Pedro. Looking for a good laugh and an online message boards incisive commentary, I looked for someone with just as an inflammatory opinion as mine, with no luck. Rats.
But, man, for a second there I thought my completely random life was totally irrelevant.
IT'S A FAMILY SCRAP
Ironic newspaper ad of the week:
On page A19 of Sunday's LA Times, Albertsons supermarket took out a huge full page ad which contained this banner headline, in big blue print:
Below that are three pictures on each side of smiling Albertsons workers - the deli girl, the flower girl, the pharmacist, the butcher, the baker, the produce guy - bookending a little public relations boasting by the chain:
On the same day the ad ran, the "proud" supermarket locked out their grinning model workers in a show of corporate solidarity with Safeway Corp, whose workers went out on strike.
Coincidence? Or canny planning? We riposte, you decide!
Ironic newspaper ad of the week:
On page A19 of Sunday's LA Times, Albertsons supermarket took out a huge full page ad which contained this banner headline, in big blue print:
A History of Serving You Better.
Below that are three pictures on each side of smiling Albertsons workers - the deli girl, the flower girl, the pharmacist, the butcher, the baker, the produce guy - bookending a little public relations boasting by the chain:
"Other come. Others go. But Albertson's is here to stay! For years, we've proudly served the communities of Southern California. In that time, we've learned a lot. About freshness, About quality. About value and service. Fact is, we're here and always will be. At Albertsons, we're open for business."
On the same day the ad ran, the "proud" supermarket locked out their grinning model workers in a show of corporate solidarity with Safeway Corp, whose workers went out on strike.
Coincidence? Or canny planning? We riposte, you decide!
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